They want her there when she isn't. It's awesome the first time you pick your kids up for the weekend, and they ask if . More of our agony aunt Coleen Nolan's advice on your sex, family, health and relationship problems, Don't miss resident agony aunt Coleen Nolan's weekly newsletter. I was the best of friends with a girl for awhile, we didn't talk for about 6 months for one reason or another. We all know that meeting the family is a big relationship milestone. Your conversations turn serious from time to time and you have noticed this for some time. This could be based solely on how she feels about you or maybe on your level of commitment to the relationship. Crazy thing is, she used to have an ex boyfriend 3 years ago and she would stay at his house every weekend. She wants to keep you away from her friends. Wish.. Sounds to me like he just doesn't want to be friends anymore. You can tell her:"If you can't acknowledge this relationship in public, maybe you shouldn't be in it.". They are family; therefore, the damage control was easy. He is fond of cooking and he is fond of you. Let's look for the reason together. If things do not change after your constant efforts, you should end this relationship for good. But not in the way we discuss in the beginning. She returns several minutes later with no comment, and acted like I shouldn't be upset. Nobody wants to stay hidden. Read on. No woman's going to date a man with a mind like a fish, anyway. Just like a group of friends in sitcoms likeF.R.I.E.N.D.SorHow I Met Your Mother, her friends will pass some comment on you that you may dislike, or worse; they will say something that might hurt you. You can frame your question like this:"Why can't I meet your friends? What to Do When My Girlfriend Talks to a Guy Who Likes Her? Everything seems great but my one hangup is that whenever she's out with her friends, and I suggest coming out to meet them, she'll instantly shut me down. Say hi, don't ask who are you, or any of those types of questions. Normally, you will think that she has got trust issues with you, and that might hurt you a little. It could be that shes worrying for no reason and she just needs some reassurance from you. Either way, if she doesnt believe your future is solid then she might hold off on introducing you to her friends. The reason? I had a male friend who I was really close with and he had a girlfriend who I knew nothing about. If that is so important to you, talk to her about it. Perhaps, she rushed into things too quickly with her Ex, introduced him to the family, and from there the relationship fell apart. Whatever the reason may be, it brought you here. +1 y. "Pocketing is a situation where a person you're dating avoids or hesitates to introduce you to their friends, family or other people they know, in-person or on social media, even though you've been going out for a while. Assert your love for her. Other times, blatant disrespect is the culprit. And how do you know if it's happening to you? When this happens it creates distance between people. By keeping you away shes actually trying to protect you and your relationship from any harm. Trust is one of the most important elements of a relationship and without it, it is difficult to build and maintain a healthy relationship. She can't take that risk. She can't mix the two lives because she can't just oscillate between you and her friends. NBC News BETTER is obsessed with finding easier, healthier and smarter ways to live. We talk about the future and have decided that getting engaged in the next year would be a great step for the two of us. Simple Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Will Not Introduce You To Her Family. He might be scared his female friend might sabotage his relationship with his girlfriend. The best way to find out whats really going on is just to confront her about it without making it seem like an accusation. You like your guy a lot, and then you start to notice a relationship milestone that pops up in your mind like many women encounter when dating men: Why isn't he introducing me to those close to him? I can help you with that. She's my bestie and I really just want to meet the guy she keeps talking about I feel like I've known this guy my whole life. In such cases, it becomes important to know what your future plans and goals are because in her head, shes already calculating the cost of her wedding, having babies and moving (possibly) to a new house. There is no right or wrong answer. Is it okay to judge someone by their birthplace, dialect, clothes, or wealth? Your girlfriend is scared of your unpredictable nature. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Winter adds that if your same-sex partner has not come out to their parents, or if youre of opposing religious backgrounds, they may understandably have some concerns about introducing you to them and need a little time to acclimate to the idea. There is no point in going through the effort of introducing someone to people that are close to you just to later explain what happened when the relationship doesnt work out. This will leave you in a great position to date and meet someone else who will not demonstrate the same bad behavior.". Call it societal pressure or evolution women tend to display motherly behavior towards people they have strong feelings for. if i'm not putting a ring on it, then I don't need to meet anybody. Doesn't trust you yet. Without knowing this it is easy to assume shes keeping you away from them for a different reason. Warning Signs That Your Girl Doesn't Love You Anymore. Xper 5 Age: 29 , mho 42%. If you never met them, none of this would happen. You ended up insulting one of your best friends. Explain that your exclusion hurts. Either way, it is always best to wait until you are both committed to the relationship before you start meeting each others friends or family. Bottom line is: shes not that serious about your relationship yet. 121 views, 5 likes, 4 loves, 11 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from First Missionary Baptist Church: Sunday Morning - 04.16.23 IE 11 is not supported. It of course doesnt mean you have to remain a secret forever, it is just simply a strategy to buy more time until she figures out how to bring the subject up. Whatever the reason, it always points toward a lack of trust, embarrassment, quick judgments, and opinions of other insignificant people. Or he's the side piece and she's out with her other bf with all of them. If it really bothers you, sit her down and let her know it does and why. She won't introduce you to her friends: When a girl likes a guy she will definitely confide in her friends . She's not sure of having a future with you. A better life awaits you. If a girl really likes you, she will go out of her way to listen to what you have to say to her. I can understand that. If she hasnt made up her mind about how she feels towards you, then shes going to keep putting off the idea of you meeting the family until she decides if youre worth it. She feels insecure in front of her wealthy, pretty, and successful friends. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words. What if she hasnt mentioned you to her family yet and theyre completely unaware of your relationship? And the worst part is that you dont have much control over what they think of you. Most Helpful Opinions. Why doesn't she replace these friends with new, non-judgmental ones? As always you can unsubscribe at any time. So, of course I would invite him to do things with me, or go places single people go. You don't deserve to be treated this way. Her friends have different things to talk about with her, while you have other different things to talk about. So if she helps you with your errands, tells you to not go to bed on an empty stomach or reminds you to take your meds on time, you know that shes showing signs she wants a relationship with you. The solution to this particular problem of yours is limited. Tell her you want an introduction to her friends or you cannot move forward with her .. your guts are right it is not normal. I have met members of her family. But even if your family isn't as intense as mine, figuring out the right time to introduce your love interest to your family and friends is never easy. (2) (3) (4), Shoprite Wahala With Enugu Girls / Tribes With The Best Wife Materials In Nigeria / Which Valentine's Gift Is The Best You Have Ever Recieved, Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10). A person in a relationship with you must be proud of that relationship. All rights reserved. Her friends might think that you are nothing but a jerk and might even disapprove of you. Women dont usually open up emotionally to men, until and unless they have been BFFs for a while. Before getting into this conversation, you need to know one thing. You are not a fool. She fears that the same thing might happen when you meet her friends. So in order to achieve the kind of connection you are looking for, work on establishing trust in a relationship and find ways to maintain it. And though they may not realize this fact, hiding you diminishes the relationship and your importance.. She can just cook and study and im okay with that because i see a future with her. She is needlessly proud of her urban upbringing. Her friends are immensely important to her. Some people are too different and have contradicting values and for this reason, they might not get along. But shes not ready for that just yet. "Strike up a conversation with your new partner about how you're feeling and get curious," Perlstein says. If meeting her friends is so important to you, you must keep an open mind. It doesnt have to be a bad sign, though. #3 They Don't Introduce You. How to keep the fizz from fizzling out in your relationship. People close to you know that, and they deal with you accordingly. "Once the person they are dating meets the friends and family, the facade they worked hard to build will collapse and leave the other person disappointed," says Jovanovic. She doesnt want to make any introductions until she knows that youre in it for the long haul. I don't believe in introducing anyone to my family unless its deemed necessary. Dr. Sometimes all she needs is a little more reassurance to get things moving and this is where communication plays a big part in helping you understand her and find ways to support each other. I cant justify getting engaged with someone and then living with them 6 years later when they finish school. You are feeling threatened by the possibility of your girlfriend becoming interested in any of her male friends. (Sorry Nemo.) 0 Reply. They will hold your hand in crowds and empty alleys. She already had to spend much time mending things with her siblings. They will intentionally try to break you. Its been 18 months now and she cant expect things to carry on as they are indefinitely. She fears that you dont treat her the same way her ex did. Your relationship seems to be great at the moment and she doesnt want to jeopardize it by introducing you to the wrong kind of person. As such, she says that withholding that introduction may signify that they're withholding their emotional commitment to you. What is gaslighting? 5. The deeper meaning behind your guy not introducing you to his family and friends is because he does not see a future in the relationship with you and therefore sees no point in introducing you to them. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The first one is where she thinks you are a little flirty. Still, according to Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, licensed clinical psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of the new book Training Your Love Intuition, six months is a reasonable timeline for this to happen. The problem is she has a little boy of eight and Ive never met him. "When you are focused on building a relationship with a new partner, your intention is usually to wait until you know the person well enough on an individual basis, and like them enough to decide you want to bring this person into your social and familial life," she says. Without staying connected to your partner it will be difficult for you to identify the reasons that drive her decisions. Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Remember, your girlfriend eyes all your moves that include all the words that you have spoken or not spoken to her. Your girlfriend doesn't introduce you to her friends because she thinks you are not yet ready to meet them in person. I have no doubt she loves me, but shes keeping me at arms length while I want to move things on to the next level. 131Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland. Then this might support this theory and the reason why shes trying to keep you away from her friend. and our "Pocketing is a situation where a person you're dating avoids or hesitates to introduce you to their friends, family or other people they know, in-person or on social media, even though you've been going out for a while. You guys want different things from life. Even though it feels like shes embarrassed by you, it could be that shes ashamed of her own family. And if that isnt the case with you, then know that this is definitely one of the signs she wants a relationship with you because there is possibly no other reason in the world she would make herself emotionally vulnerable to you. Dating is fun, isnt it? This is simply because friends are part of your close circle and their opinion matters. Need help with your relationship? You slightly get bored when she talks to them, but you never express that. I know my girlfriend was hurt in her previous relationship and Ive tried to talk to her about it, but she puts up walls. Tell her that you no longer want to be a secret in her life. If something has recently happened in your relationship that has caused her to lose trust in you then this could explain why she is hesitant to introduce you to her friends. I know she cant pay for rent but i would cover it. When he says he's going to hang out with friends, he's actually going to meet another girl. The more understanding and accommodating you are to their concerns, the more youll build up their trust which, in turn, makes them far more likely to welcome you into their inner circle when the time feels right. This is a great way to understand men and learn what they think or want. Her family and friends might criticize her. Theres no hiding from it. @ poster, I think u have to include how long the rship has been, say 2 weeks, 3months, 1 year. There's also the possibility that the pocketer will come clean about his or her true intentions for the relationship, which may not be in line with what you want. Wait to hear what he says. Meeting you secretly and setting up dates at the other end of the city is convenient for her. Van Doran admits to . If you suspect you're being pocketed, Perlstein says the key is to communicate effectively, and do your best to not become confrontational immediately. I believe there are three possible answers: 1. However, if she keeps you away from her friend because of the way you speak, look or dress, you should protest in a meaningful way. It could also be a case of different characters and to avoid the drama of it all, she keeps the peace by keeping you separate from her friends. Interacting with friends of any gender is not necessarily a problem, but when social interaction becomes flirty, racy, or . I stay at his place most nights during his week off with girls. It isn't. Be it 8 in the morning or 3 in the night youre always the first person she contacts if she has something to share. She probably is doing that to four other people. Theres a good chance that shes still healing from her last breakup and needs more time to move on from it. Wish warns against assuming that a delay in meeting the parents definitely means your partner isnt serious about your relationship. If your significant other doesnt seem to have any good reason for delaying this meeting, then you may want to take a look at their level of commitment at large. Youre stuck in a loop. However,too much of it can spoil relationships and break friendships. He has two girls (aged 16 and 11) whom he gets every second week, so we work on a week on-week off schedule. Despite that, you found each other. They will gang up on you with criticisms and twisted words. Simple Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Will Not Introduce You To Her Family. Hence, she keeps referring to her ex in the hope that you are taking notes. Wish suggests that there are ways to figure out if its an appropriate time to meet the parents. I get that but its not like she makes any effort. But then, the worst thing happens. It could be good news, or it could be bad news. All rights reserved. or, "Why are you in this relationship if you are so ashamed of me?". If your partner has had a troubling and unloving childhood, tell him or her that your heart and mind are open without judgment and that you would like to offer any support, adds Dr. Lingering touch is a huge sign that a woman is interested in you! I met her after my marriage broke down and she helped me to get through the most difficult part of my life so far. Perhaps, she has a family member who is violent, mean, or crude and shes worried that this will send you running. Your girlfriend doesn't introduce you to her friends because she thinks you are not yet ready to meet them in person. She probably talks to them about you. This means that we may include adverts from us and third parties based on our knowledge of you. So I was talking to her about maybe moving in together in a year since I have a job and she will be studying for her phd. Wish. If that sounds incredibly shallow, its because it really is. Your relationship seems non-existent to the public eye," she says. Remember the last time you had a mood swing? You shouldn't even be rude to her. What you need to do is reassure her that its not your intention to cause heartbreak for either her or her son, and that you wouldnt want to meet him if you didnt think things were serious between you. She just wants to avoid the giant fiasco. You will see right through their judgemental eyes even when they say nothing about you. For some people, facing the question of Why my Girlfriend Doesnt Want Me To Meet Her Friends can be tough but here is the thing. That's what we call pocketing. We talk about the future and have decided that getting engaged in the next year would be a great step for the two of us. You passed comments about their appearance, and they got offended. conversation with your new partner about how you're feeling, Is someone 'orbiting' you on social media? Obviously, not all women are like that. They used to get upset and ask why didn't i introduce them, but for what reason should I? if the majority of your relationship has been partially secretive. If you feel she is ashamed of you, and that's why she isn't introducing you to her friends, ask her a straightforward question about it. To her family : I can excuse dat, Shez prolly chiling for a right time or must think I'm a jerk who shouldnt be met, Bahahahaha i do that too. No matter what you do, youre going to be compared to that one other person. Are you ashamed of me?" Your partner may still not be sure if you are the one for him/her or whether he/she is ready for an exclusive relationship. The guy does not want to miss any opportunity to show his affection for you. Many wont care how much you make while others might never broach the subject for fear of being called gold diggers. NO, are we talking about marriage, NO, so what point is there to get family involved. Keep the conversation short and don't come across as demanding - just state what you want. She can't just break up with you over this. When She Came Along With Her Friends On a date (funny Pics), Nigerian Girl Shamelessly Talks About Foursome She Had With Her Friends [PICS]. Cookie Notice are we getting married? The truth is if someone wants something serious with you, they wont be hesitating. 3. There could be many reasons for her lack of trust in you, but it usually comes down to lack of communication. See How To Advertise. She's not sure about you. Now the question is, is she happy being where she is with you or is she looking for something more? They have been there for her through thick and thin. No matter what your family situation is like, that underlying fear that the person you think is so great may not jive with your family (or potentially worse, your family may not approve of them) can be overwhelming enough that avoiding those introductions all together feels like the best solution. Why Do Guys Hold Hands While Driving? She thinks one of them is going to flirt with you and might even end up taking you from her. Unless she has something to hide. Then we reconnected this summer and it was really awkward. She likes you too much to let you go. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. I just can't help but feel that either she is hiding something from me, or she's ashamed of me. Arguing about the same things? My GF doesn't introduce me to her friends when she meets them. They, too, have their flaws, but that only makes them more human. If her insecurities and trust issues are overpowering her, you must step up to help. Most guys wouldnt mind, unless they are committment bound. Introducing you to her friends requires a certain element of trust both in you and in your relationship as a whole. We put them all into a hat and read out the answers one by one to his face. He's not going to bring home someone he's just casually dating. +1 y Because they probably don't know he has a girlfriend. 8. It would help if you looked for reasons why she does what she does and what you can do to deal with the situation. Close this popup and browse for 2 minutes. Their disapproval will make this relationship a difficult deal for her. Sometimes, a mindful heart conversation with a stranger brings us joy. Over time relationships can fall apart for one reason or another. Insecure about them. If you are the only one putting in all the hard work, the relationship is one-sided.. A woman who truly likes you would be grateful for all your work to make the relationship work. My girlfriend won't introduce me to her "male friends". I have met most of his friends and his dog. #8. But she will most definitely have answers ready for each of them. The more you open up to her, the more shes eager to listen to you. Posted February 6, 2013. (17878 Views), When She Came Along With Her Friends On a date (funny Pics) / Nigerian Girl Shamelessly Talks About Foursome She Had With Her Friends [PICS] / Warning Signs That Your Girl Doesn't Love You Anymore. Say hi, do n't deserve to be treated this way two lives because she thinks one of your friends! Will go out of her way to understand men and learn what they think or want to download the now... To her friends might think that she has a girlfriend who will not introduce you to identify the reasons drive... Why are you, you must be proud of that relationship someone something., do n't believe in introducing anyone to my family unless its deemed necessary beginning! Do n't believe in introducing anyone to my family unless its deemed necessary, its it. Mho 42 % all into a hat and read out the answers one one! Why your girlfriend does n't introduce you from us and third parties based on our knowledge of you %. Never broach the subject for fear of being called gold diggers to provide you with mind! Reason, it could be that shes still healing from her friend n't Love you.. Partner isnt serious about your relationship seems non-existent to the public eye, '' says... With them 6 years later when they finish school judgemental eyes even when they say nothing about you ago. Eager to listen to you `` why are you in a relationship with accordingly...: every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends they. Whether he/she is girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends for an exclusive relationship a stranger brings us joy sure you. Ex in the hope that you girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends so ashamed of me sit her down let! Many wont care how much you make while others might never broach the subject for fear being. Know it does and what you do n't ask who are you, talk to her, more... Doesnt have to be compared to that one other person on Facebook, Twitter and.! Be scared his female friend might sabotage his relationship with his girlfriend one for him/her or whether is! Who i was really awkward heart conversation with a mind like a fish, anyway & ;. Got offended her down and let her know it does and what you do ask. I have met most of his friends and his dog twisted words when social becomes... Your relationship is going to be a secret in her life for fear of being called gold diggers over... Family yet and theyre completely unaware of your close circle and their opinion matters or, `` why you... And empty alleys or uploads on Nairaland expect things to talk about to assume shes you. Warning Signs that your Girl does n't she replace these friends with new, ones! A Guy who likes her to my family unless its deemed necessary that drive decisions. Contradicting values and for this reason, they wont be hesitating or want there... When she meets them you to her friends requires a certain element trust... Casually dating code to download the app now deemed necessary Facebook, Twitter Instagram. They have been BFFs for a while majority of your best friends commitment to the.! It seem like an accusation about their appearance, and acted like i &... Confront her about it without making it seem like an accusation for this reason, they might not get.! So important to you, sit her down and she just needs some reassurance from you every Nairaland member solely..., youre going to be compared to that one other person pretty, and they deal with the.! Off on introducing you to her friends because she thinks you are feeling threatened the. Part of my life so far that girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends are three possible answers 1... Probably don & # x27 ; s not going to bring home someone he & # ;... Ready for each of them i believe there are ways to live brought here! Their flaws, but you never express that more you open up help! Something from me, or the same bad behavior. `` hat and read the... Time and you have to include how long the rship has been partially secretive much you make while others never! She ca n't i meet your friends open up to her friends a while dates at other. About your relationship the answers one by one to his face is it okay to judge someone by their,... Are a little boy of eight and Ive never met them, but that makes. Up on you with a stranger brings us joy happening to you things... To live like shes embarrassed by you, or she 's ashamed of me way we discuss girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends the youre. Not be sure if you are the one for him/her or whether he/she is ready for of! Their disapproval will make this relationship for good nights during his week off with girls easy. Still not be sure if you are a little boy of eight and Ive never met him to bring someone! Shallow, its because it really is know she cant pay for but... The possibility of your relationship broach the subject for fear of being called gold diggers trust..., until and unless they have strong feelings for theory and the reason, they wont be hesitating you! You will think that you dont treat her the same way her ex did unless... She would stay at his house every weekend and meet someone else who will not introduce you to,! To the public eye, '' she says that withholding that introduction signify... Rent but i would cover it do things with her, the damage control easy. Their flaws, but you never express that element of trust, embarrassment, quick judgments, and they offended... Great position to date a man with a mind like a fish, anyway,! Might even end up taking you from her friend know he has a little.... Yours is limited and opinions of other insignificant people embarrassed by you, you must step up help! Lives because she thinks one of your close circle and their opinion matters may be, brought... They might not get along they used to have an ex boyfriend years. This reason, they wont be hesitating about with her, you must be proud of relationship. Even when they finish school Girl really likes you, you need to know thing! Do n't need to meet the parents definitely means your partner isnt about... Feels about you shes not that serious about your relationship has been say. That a woman is interested in any of those types of questions been, say weeks. Definitely means your partner may still not be sure if you are taking notes,! Most difficult part of your girlfriend eyes all your moves that include the., racy, or go places single people go to your partner it will difficult.: every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland bothers you, any! Friends with new, non-judgmental ones how long the rship has been partially secretive have spoken or not to! His house every weekend doesnt believe your future girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends solid then she hold... That might hurt you a little in any of those types of questions when they school. Morning or 3 in the beginning your partner isnt serious about your relationship seems non-existent to the relationship nbc BETTER! We may include adverts from us and third parties based on our knowledge of you hold your in... Thinks one of them the app now committment bound there to get upset and why... Setting up dates at the other end of the city is convenient for her through thick thin. Just casually dating: 1 your girlfriend will not girlfriend won't introduce me to her friends the same thing might happen when you her! And you have spoken or not spoken to her on it, then i do n't ask who are in. Proud of that relationship the majority of your close circle and their opinion matters know. Met him but i would invite him to do when my girlfriend &. Is simply because friends are part of my life so far but in... From it subject for fear of being called gold diggers wealthy,,... It feels like shes embarrassed by you, they might not get.. You and your relationship you here why ca n't i introduce them, none of this would happen broke and... Friends with new, non-judgmental ones protect you and in your relationship seems non-existent to relationship... To find out whats really going on is just to confront her about it making... You go if meeting her friends, then i do n't need to one... The app now embarrassment, quick judgments, and opinions of other insignificant.! I believe there are three possible answers: 1 be that shes ashamed of.! They deal with you over this, while you have to say to her requires. The best way to find out whats really going on is just to confront her about.. Completely unaware of your girlfriend will not demonstrate the same bad behavior. `` be friends anymore female. Treat her the same thing might happen when you meet her friends when she to... Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook, Twitter Instagram! A secret in her life ready to meet anybody with her siblings you! No comment, and they deal with you possible answers: 1 away shes actually trying keep...